When someone you love dies, the world expects you to function. There are logistics to manage, phone calls to make, and decisions that feel impossible to make in the state you're in. This is not a failure of character — it's the collision of grief and bureaucracy, and every family faces it.
This checklist is organized by time: the first hours, the first few days, the first week, and the first month. You don't have to do everything at once. You just have to do the next thing.
The First Hours
In the immediate aftermath, there are only a few things that need to happen right away. Everything else can wait.
Call the appropriate authority
If the death was at home and unexpected, call 911. If under hospice care, call the hospice nurse — they will pronounce the death and guide you through what happens next. In a hospital or care facility, staff will handle this step.
Contact a funeral home
Even if you haven't chosen one, you'll need a funeral home to transport the body. If the person had pre-arranged funeral plans, contact that provider. Otherwise, the hospice team, hospital social worker, or your family's place of worship can recommend one.
Notify immediate family
Call the people who need to know first — spouse, children, parents, siblings. Designate one person to handle further calls so the burden doesn't fall entirely on the next of kin.
Secure the home (if applicable)
If the person lived alone, make sure the home is locked, pets are cared for, and any perishable responsibilities (mail, deliveries, plants) are handled. Ask a trusted neighbor or friend if you can't be there.
"You don't have to do everything today. You just have to do the next thing."
The First Few Days
Once the immediate shock settles slightly, there are practical decisions that need attention. Take them one at a time.
- Make funeral or memorial arrangements. Decide on burial vs. cremation, choose a date and location, and work with the funeral director on logistics. If you're considering a celebration of life instead of a traditional service, you have more flexibility on timing.
- Write the obituary. The funeral home will ask for one, and many newspapers have deadlines. You'll need the basic facts — full name, dates, survivors, service details — plus something personal about who they were. Our complete obituary writing guide walks you through every element, or EverWord can write it for you.
- Order death certificates. Request 10-12 certified copies through the funeral home. You'll need them for banks, insurance, Social Security, the DMV, and more. Order extra — it's far cheaper now than requesting more later.
- Notify the employer. If the person was employed, contact their HR department. They can advise on final paychecks, benefits, life insurance through work, and pension details.
- Contact their insurance companies. Life insurance, health insurance, auto insurance, homeowner's insurance. Each will have its own claims process, and some have time-sensitive filing windows.
Don't let the obituary become another burden.
EverWord guides you through 18 thoughtful questions about their life, then crafts a complete, beautiful obituary — ready for the funeral home, the newspaper, and a physical keepsake to keep forever.
Start the Questionnaire →$149 · Digital delivery in minutes · Physical keepsake included
The First Week
- Notify Social Security. Call 1-800-772-1213. If the person was receiving benefits, payments must stop. The surviving spouse may be eligible for a one-time death benefit of $255 and ongoing survivor benefits.
- Notify their bank and financial institutions. Bring a death certificate. Accounts may be frozen temporarily. If there's a joint account, the surviving account holder retains access. Safety deposit boxes may require a court order to open.
- Find the will and important documents. Look for a will, trust documents, life insurance policies, property deeds, and vehicle titles. Check a home safe, a safe deposit box, or with their attorney. Knowing whether there's a will determines whether the estate goes through probate.
- Contact their attorney (if they had one). If you don't know who their attorney was, check mail, email, and financial records for law firm correspondence.
- Send a death notice to the newspaper. This is separate from the obituary — a shorter, factual announcement with service details. Some families run both.
- Prepare for the service. Choose readings, music, and speakers. If a family member is giving a eulogy, our guide on writing a eulogy for a parent can help.
The First Month
- File the life insurance claim. Contact each policy's provider with a certified death certificate. Processing typically takes 30-60 days.
- Notify credit card companies. Cancel cards in the deceased's name only. If there are joint accounts, the surviving holder remains responsible.
- Forward or redirect mail. File a change of address or forward mail to the executor's address. Watch for bills, subscriptions, and correspondence that reveal accounts you didn't know about.
- Cancel subscriptions and memberships. Streaming services, gym memberships, magazines, club memberships, professional associations. Check bank statements and credit card bills for recurring charges.
- Handle digital accounts. Email, social media, cloud storage. Each platform has its own process for memorializing or closing an account. Facebook, Google, and Apple all have legacy contact or inactive account features.
- Consult a tax professional. A final tax return must be filed for the deceased for the year of death. If there's an estate, it may also require its own tax return.
- Begin probate (if necessary). If the person owned property or had assets above the state's probate threshold, the estate will need to go through probate. An attorney can advise on whether this is needed and guide you through the process.
What Most People Forget
In the fog of the first weeks, these are the things families most commonly miss — and later wish they'd handled sooner:
- Requesting enough death certificates. Ten is the minimum. Fifteen is safer. Every institution wants an original.
- Checking for veterans' benefits. If the person served in the military, they may be eligible for burial benefits, a headstone, and a flag — at no cost to the family.
- Canceling the person's driver's license. Contact the DMV to prevent identity theft.
- Notifying the post office, voter registration, and the person's doctor. Small administrative steps that prevent confusion and protect the person's identity.
- Taking time for yourself. Grief is not a checklist item, but it's the most important thing on this list. The paperwork will wait. You are allowed to stop.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the first thing you should do when someone dies?
If the death occurs at home and is unexpected, call 911. If the person was under hospice care, call the hospice nurse — they can pronounce death and guide you through next steps without requiring an ambulance. In a hospital, staff will handle the immediate procedures.
How many copies of the death certificate do I need?
Order at least 10 to 12 certified copies. Banks, insurance companies, Social Security, the DMV, mortgage companies, and investment firms all require originals. It's far easier and cheaper to order extras upfront than to request more later.
How long do I have to plan a funeral?
There is no legal deadline. Most families hold services within one to two weeks if the body is not embalmed. With cremation, you have more flexibility — some families wait weeks or months. The funeral home will advise based on preservation method and local regulations.
Do I need a lawyer when someone dies?
It depends on the estate. If there's a will, property, significant assets, or any dispute among heirs, consulting a probate attorney is strongly recommended. For simple estates — a small bank account, no property, no disputes — you may handle it through county probate court without one.
What's the difference between an obituary and a death notice?
A death notice is a short, factual announcement — name, date of death, service details. An obituary is longer and more personal — it tells the story of a life. Many families publish both. See our guide on what to include in an obituary for help with the longer version.
For more guidance during this time, see our complete obituary writing guide, read about what to say in a sympathy card, or browse real obituary examples. If writing the obituary feels like too much right now, EverWord can help.